It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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