I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
