I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize