for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
