Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
