i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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