Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
