We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
