i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
