Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
