this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
