She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
