Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
