You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
