Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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