Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
