Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
