He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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