Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
