Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize