I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize