I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
