it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
