But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
