i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
