I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
