why didn't you poke me back
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
