I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Randomize
