I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
