Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
