I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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