When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
