i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
