You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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