omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
