Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
