I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
