You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize