Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize