I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I had to cum in my sink.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
