yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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