oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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