While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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