He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
