god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
