i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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