she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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