I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
