So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
