yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
