Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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