Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
