you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
