girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
