Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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