Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
