allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize