Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
