I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
