then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
