I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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