We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
