HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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