Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
